Ramblings at 0136

It's 0136. Just like the title said.
I am awake. Obviously.

Does anyone else see why this is a bad thing? I have sleeping angels who will wake up in a few hours and who will want, of all things, to EAT. The audacity!

The good news is no one expects me to cook. It would be just too weird. It doesn't happen often and so I certainly don't want to set any unrealistic expectations by starting this Saturday.

Why am I up? I have the worst indigestion. At least I think it's indigestion. I've never had indigestion before. I had gas up really high when I was pregnant and this feels kind of like that. Minus the baby shoving all my organs up inside my ribcage of course. Everything seems to be just as low as can be and in their proper spot. ugh.

I drank some water with a drop of peppermint oil in it. It seems to be helping but now I'M AWAKE. Gone are the days when I could wake up, go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, adjust the thermostat and fall back blissfully asleep. Nope, no longer happening that way.

Now I know why I would wake up at 2 a.m. as a small child and smell bacon cooking finding my grandparents playing scrabble or some other board/card game. I am my Grandparents. Oh my. Only they were together and I'm all alone. HE is asleep but it's dicey waking him up.

What if it's not indigestion?

What if I'm having a heart attack and am ignoring it because I'm not old? (Please no comments that I am that old.)

Should I go wake up the Marine and ask him? Take the chance?

You know, normally I would, but last night Recruit 6 peed on me and I had to get up about this time. The Marine wouldn't get out of bed and offer to change the sheets so I stuck a towel up under the wet spot to get it off the mattress and then Recruit 6 and I slept on the couch.

Going back into the bathroom to get a blanket and pillow The Marine was all Marine-y and wanted to know why I was being so loud on purpose and why I just didn't crawl back in the bed next to the pee wet spot and him? He said the next morning a little incredulous, "You would have fit!" (should I be flattered?)

He was all gravel-y and jar-headish. No thank you. I 'd rather suffer in silence out here. That will teach him! Except... what if I'm really having a midio-cardio-infarction flatulation of the heart area? Back to last night. It takes my mind off my discomfort to complain a little more.

I just gazed on his sleep dazed face incredulous and irritated that I had been peed on AND he didn't care at all.

I slammed the door to the bedroom extra hard.

I heard something muffled in a gravel-y Marine-y voice but I don't remember what he said. It was some incredulous comment about why I was being so difficult.

Seriously.

I was incredulous as I tried to fit Recruit 6 and myself on the couch. I finally shoved him off onto the floor. He went and pulled our Marine Corps mink blanket Island Girl sent me when she went to Korea and made himself a pallet next to the couch.

It smells like boys and dogs. He is very resourceful. I woke up for scripture and prayer the next morning and he was back on the couch but at the other end WITH the stinky smelling mink Ooh Rah blanket. Gross.

I was no longer incredulous. Just tired and I smelled like o'de lab.

Now I'm just AWAKE and now it's 0152.

You know, I seem to remember eating some artichoke and spinach hummus with these sea salt and rosemary Focaccia sticks, and then I ate about 1 or 10 of these chocolate and peppermint dark chocolate squares and then I ate about 1/3 to a whole bag of popcorn with maybe 1 or 2 tablespoons of ranch flavored popcorn salt all within about 30 minutes. Not sure, but maybe it's not a flatulent infarction of the heart. Maybe it is some sort of diet related bad moment. OHMYGOSH!!! could the lining of my heart be swelling from all the salt? Is that even possible?

Oh, wait, and let me say I am soooo thankful I'm alone right now because I'm belching enough for all 7 of my disgusting family members put together. Peppermint is kicking in.

I say disgusting because I'm THE only one who does not join in the musical symphony in this house that is body functions. Yes even my girls. It's disgusting and embarrassing and I apologize to all who have and will be subject to the disharmonious chords played within the walls of our dwelling. Or wherever two or more recruits are gathered.

Well I think I am going to live. Thank goodness!

I'd hate to ask The Marine to wake up to diagnose me.

I'd be subject to one of his two middle of the night personalities. It would either be the nasty Master Guns with the gravel-y Marine-y gurgle, or Don Juan with an Edwardian type hypnotic power over me.

Well, after almost twenty + years I've figured out how to ignore both successfully. Okay, the door slamming last night was not my best effort. Either way I'm not interested in either personality being awakened.

Well (looking around, tapping fingers on table) Guess I'll drink a little more peppermint water and go lay back down and see if I can go to sleep. If not I apologize for any gravel-y Marine-y wife behavior I may display tomorrow if we have the misfortune to interact. Just know I'm tired and almost died tonight from salt induced heart swelling or the mido-cardio flatulent infarction I almost had....