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Thursday, February 26, 2009

Dear Marine... I miss you.

Dear Marine,
Life is marching merrily along and you are no where near. I wanted to just fill you in on your life back here in family land. Today anyway.

Recruit 1: Sprained the heck (or broke) her finger tonight at Guard rehearsal. It's her right pointer finger. It's swollen, changing colors and crooked. She said it was fine. GG said she had a fabulous last two runs. She so does not take after me. I would be curled up asking for soup and Popsicles.

Recruit 2: Went to Lacrosse practice and wore Recruit 4's football socks, you know the ones that stretch to his knees? Then he walked around Wal-Mart like that. He is very secure in his coolness because it was truly tested tonight by his ensemble. He had on his basketball shorts, Lacrosse sweat shirt and running shoes. Not pretty.

Recruit 3: Had a huge fight with Recruit 1 about thirty minutes ago. It all started when Recruit 1 came out of the shower complaining that Recruit 3 had used up all the hot water. Recruit 2 swore he didn't use any hot water at all, even though he took a shower first...

Then I heard something about "don't touch my crack" but it turned out to be "don't touch my crap" which actually, even though that was not nice, I was somewhat relieved the other version was disturbing. Then it became "I'm going to chuck your butt down the stairs". No one came rolling down the stairs so I'm assuming it's over. I don't hear anything.

Recruit 4: We had a 'meeting' at school with him, myself, his teacher, his music teacher and the principal. I explained to all of them he was a brilliant child and we needed to all just love him for who he is. Can't we all just get a long?? I think they heard me...

Recruit 5: He is passed out in your chair as I type. I scratched him across his cheek. The one with the scar. I felt terrible. It's been there for three days now. On the up side he looks even more like a pirate... arrrrgg me hearties! I'm going to just leave him in the chair. I can't lift him up to the second bunk. He's too big.

Recruit 6: He is leaping about the room. I'm not kidding. LEAPING. He is a cross between a frogger character and spider man with a Jackie Chan influence. He is really killing me here.
The following is typed as he spoke to me.

Recruit 6: "Do you know about Jackie Chan had this white costume with a sword and he had it in his pocket and when they were in a battle they had like 16 people like that many (hold up all your hands) and the guy on the horse pulled out his sword and Jackie Chan blocked it with his shoes, but with his feet kinda but it didn't hurt because he didn't have his shoes with him because he doesn't wear shoes. He has this big flame on his head, he always has a flame head, oh wait oh wait he doesn't have a flame head, so he pulls out this sword but he doesn't have a sword, but when he trains he makes a sword. and Jackie Chan almost meets when he has a blue costume on, a blue and white and he had this crazy thing on his head, it was that seat there was a spider under his neck, yeah his neck... that was really scary....."

OH MY GOSH SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, I've stopped typing and he is still going. Now he's talking about a tiny guy with a big head. No one else is up. What do I do? I"m so confused. I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

COME HOME. I don't speak Jackie Chan or Four Year old wild boy very well.

Last thing I thought was funny today, and yes this is all true and it all happened today.

Recruit 5 and 6 were watching American Idol. That guy with black hair was singing. Recruit 6 said "he screams like a girl"

Recruit 5 with no expression and no inflection in his voice: "You're a girl"

Recruit 6 not missing a beat: "His hair looks cool"

Recruit 5: snickers

These kids are fabulous! What the heck would I have to write about if it weren't for them? Going to go take Melatonin now and hopefully be rested to face tomorrow...

Love Kelli

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Seven Cherry Vanilla Dr. Peppers Please.

So I left my children. I do that sometimes. Just grabbed my stuff and said bye. The sad part is, they never seem concerned. In fact, no one even begged to go with me tonight.

I ran away to Sonic. Recruit 3 told me they were getting closed down because of roaches. But on further questioning she was unable to identify her source. Since I really wanted a Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper I decided to look at what their rating was before accepting my drink.

I drove The Marine's truck. Because I can.

I moved the pedals all the way up and the seat back further than I would normally be able to reach and up as high as it would go. To someone driving by I bet I looked like I was a really tall girl.

I digress. Oh and you have to know the truck is a diesel. It's loud.

So I pull up to the lit menu and yell into the speaker. The lady tells me she can't hear me.

I turn off the truck and start over with my order.

Kelli: "I would like seven Cherry Vanilla Dr. Peppers please."

Sonic: "Seven?"

Kelli: "Yes, seven."

Sonic: "Vanilla Dr Peppers?"

Kelli: "no, CHERRY Vanilla Dr. Peppers, Seven"

no answer

no answer

Sonic: "That will be fourteen dollars"

Kelli: "Thank you"

I wasn't going to get the kids anything but I felt bad that no one challenged me as I ran away from them. Somehow I have to hook them back in, but not a lot. I don't want them clamoring to run away with me, just mildy requesting it.

So I called home and Recruit 1 answered. I told her to send someone outside to the truck as I sat idling in the driveway playing air drums with two sonic straws.

Standing Outside the Fire by Garth Brooks was playing. Very motivating.

She sent herself out. I had alluded to the fact I had presents. She was pleased. I was worried they would deem my offerings below par. But as she neared the truck Recruit 4 was hot on her heals and grinning.

Then 3 sauntered out and 5 skipping behind her. They each claimed their medium Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper happily and smartly about faced, leaving me to Garth and my drumming.
Then 6 ran up and stretching on tippy toes, claimed his drink. Turning to go he hesitated looking back at me.

He wrinkled up his brow and asked "ya got food in there?"

Recruit 2 had yet to appear. I was alone and had already finished my drinking, eyeing his. I called the house. Is he coming out?

Suddenly Recruit 2 shirtless, in pj bottoms and limping runs to the truck. "No one told me!" he said as he claimed the last drink. He was quite pleased with the drink selection.

I made friends.

Oh, and I saw no roaches and their score was a 96.5, not the best, and the fact that I have no idea what is rated doesn't matter. Sonic lives!

Valentine's Day Surprise

So Friday the 13th, (that's kind of creepy to type by the way), ANYWAY... Friday the 13th I was working diligently in my office in my house. The Marine had called to say he would be working until around 1600 (4 pm). I said OK.

It didn't matter to me, he was 5 hours away and wouldn't be home for five more weeks or so. I didn't care what time he got off work.

So about 1500 that afternoon (3 pm) I'm working and reading an email and The Marine calls. I had ignored him earlier so I figured I should pay attention to him. I told him to stop talking so I could pay attention.

He had been asking me what I was doing. I had said 'nothing' because I was actually WORKING and was trying to absorb a work related email.

He said "Nothing?"

I said, getting annoyed, "No, I'm actually working, let me stop reading this and pay attention to you, now what?"

He said, "so, you're doing nothing"

I was about to get tweaked and retort some snippy little comment but I was stopped short.


It was The Marine.

I wish I could report that I screamed with joy, but I did not.

It was more of a loud "OHOHOH". Not real lady like, or attractive.

The Marine grinned.

I jumped up and smacked him a couple of times. Thinking back I wonder if he would have come home had he known I would greet him with some ancient tribal yell and a smack down. I did hug him after I collected myself from my almost hysterical reaction to having an unexpected MAN appear in my office.

I was actually very happy to see him. He even bought me a beautiful bouquet of roses. It was a combined Valentine's Day/Birthday Bouquet. My birthday is tomorrow. ug.

So The Marine had to leave and return to duty and that's why I was blogging at 0130 in the morning and couldn't sleep. I did sleep last night. I was so tired, but knew it was going to be another bad night, so I went to the store and bought some melatonin and Benadryl.
I think I woke up once, but at least I didn't patrol the perimeter of the house again.
When I was at the pharmacy I discussed my situation with the pharmacist. He looked thirteen.

Kelli: "Hey there. I need to know what I can take to knock me out for at least six hours, what do you think about melatonin and Benadryl?"

pre-school pharmacist: Um... well....

Kelli: "Look, I've been up for two days, my husband is gone and I'm out of Ambien. Plus I think it doesn't really let me sleep, it just makes me LOOK like I'm a sleep, I'm really really tired, I want to be unconscious."

pre-school pharmacist: yeah... well

And then we discussed Benadryl, the side effects, you can get a tolerance, don't do it for more than one or two nights, go back to your doctor and discussed other sleep aids, some random questions I through in there to see if he really knew what he was talking about or had just come to work with his dad.

I should tell you I looked really really bad. I had no make-up, a gaunt look, flat hair and I forgot to put on real shoes, so I was wearing house shoes. Recruit 3 was with me. She was laughing a lot but from a few feet away.
Disclaimer: I in no way promote melatonin or Benadryl or a mixture thereof. Go see your doctor.

So I slept but I'm still super tired and I still hate laundry and housework. Sorry, just felt right to throw that in.
I do however have these beautiful mixed color bouquet of roses that have opened up and remind me of all the great diversity in our lives. The Marine might say in my personality, but I prefer to think of my family as a colorful bouquet of roses with just a few thorns to keep me honest...
I just love him.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Middle of The Night

I'm up and it's the middle of the night. I've been fairly busy the last several days and so haven't had time to play with my blog or do laundry, so here I am doing both.

One of the hardest things for me when The Marine is gone is sleeping. Noises suddenly take on a new meaning, hence sleeping with a bat. I seem to have a lot of posts about not sleeping or posts written when I should be sleeping.

I don't like the MIDDLE of the night. Early on is fine, and the wee hours right before the alarm goes off you know it's almost over. The middle is the middle. I don't like it.

A black expanse of nothingness stretching on either side of me.

The hump, the black hole. The bend in the night that won't seem to end. The minutes crawl by in the middle.

And the middle of the night makes any deployment or separation seem that much longer, or harder, or more miserable.

It makes anxieties that more angst-y.

It really drives me nuts. I almost want to go wake some recruits up, except they all have school and I don't need grumpy recruits. That's one of the few things I dread more than the middle of the night; grumpy recruits at 0600.

The noise of the dryer is keeping me company. I've already checked on all the recruits, made sure they were breathing and covered, and peered out all the windows, TWICE.

The little red dog "woke" me not long ago and I just gave up and got out of bed. Besides I had to look out the windows. I can't do that from bed.

I've already told him twice to hold it! NO WAY am I opening the doors to let him out. He usually sleeps up in the big room with the girls and the door is shut so I KNOW he can hold it.

We had a surprise visit over Valentine's weekend from The Marine, so I'm sort of back to square one with getting used to the MIDDLE of the night with out him again. It was a great weekend and I was sad to see him leave today. And of course I'm even sadder to be awake. Right now. In the middle.

It probably doesn't help I'm out of Ambien. At least then I am unaware of the middle of the night. And I apparently am quite entertaining about thirty minutes after taking it. So the kids don't get to ask me random questions and I don't sleep. Giving up dark secrets from my past is totally worth not having to deal with the middle of the night. Besides I apparently don't make a lot of sense anyway.

The little red dog is finally sleeping again under my feet. I guess he gave up and decided I was telling him the truth when I said "forget the outdoors tiny".

I'm going to go wander around some more and look at sleeping children. It's 0200, the middle ends around 0345 by my calculations... Not much more to go.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Unexepected Half Days

There is nothing I love more than my children. Let that be clear. However, there is nothing that throws me off more than my children having a 'half' day at school and I not know about it until 0600 the morning of.

16 minutes ago in random conversation I find out they will all be home by noon.


This is not the good. The leisurely afternoon I had planned of lying around watching my shows and planning how to torture and thwart them from having fun like ALL THE OTHER KIDS IN THE WORLD when they get home has now been thrown off.

I'll have to move up the lying around and torture and thwart planning to as soon as they walk out the door. Oh and I'll have to squeeze in my daily exercise in every room of the house of nimbly throwing their stuff everywhere. I wouldn't want them to think I missed a day of that. They all put everything away so nicely the night before. They said I just didn't check it while it was clean.

I might even try extra hard today and shove some stuff randomly behind dressers and under beds. Here's the secret if you really want to entertain your children. The stuff you throw and shove, make it from ANOTHER KID'S ROOM. yep, that's what get's 'em. Muwahahahahahha!

I bet I could really impress them and take just a few minutes to run into their bathroom and utilize their facility, not flush it, and then rub some dirt around the inside of their tub. They will be speechless when I tell them they have to scrub the tub and toilet. Just speechless. Even though they already did that yest... I mean last we-month!

I really don't want them to be bored when they get home. After all they usually leave me hours to insure they have chores to do when they get home which keeps them from watching cartoon network and playing outside with strange children I've never seen before in my life. I really am awful. I wouldn't let Recruit 4 go to some one's house I didn't know and go inside and play video games that he couldn't name. It's really not fair.

I admit, they often have unkind things to say about me and they scream and fight with each other. Today it's going to happen several hours earlier than normal. They really try hard to give me a good show everyday. We've actually been responsible for new potty words. I sure hope they're not disappointed when they get home! I know they just want me to be the best Mom I can be, they really love it when they lose privileges. I can tell by the way the bounce up and down and their heads spin a little.

The little darlings are giving me incredible opportunities to practice staying calm, firm, and kind even in the face of the most hideous transformation from my beautiful angel baby to a hideous mythical character of the most stinky and grotesque proportions.

With The Marine gone I get extra practice, and really, I can feel myself growing. Like when you were little and your bones and muscles were growing and stretching and these shooting pains shot up through your entire body like hot pokers getting shoved up your legs into your lower back!!!

Well child rearing really is nothing like that. Not at all.

And The Marine really helps calm me down when we talk. He often says things like, "they don't do that when I'm home." mmmm, I feel so much better.

And actually in spite of the fact it has been a little more difficult recently with a few of the Recruits. There are also sweet wonderful moments where I can see them maturing and making better choices. I'll write a post about those moments later. I can't seem to find the words right now...

Well I guess I'll go crawl back into bed. I need to rest up for the early release this afternoon. I wouldn't want to disappoint any of them!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

My Tech Guy

I have this tech guy who takes care of my computer. He gets really annoyed with me, but for the most part I am harmless and he only usually has to do routine maintenance on my work computer.

I'm having a little problem, right now with my computer. One I can't figure out. It's starting to become a bigger problem. It's starting to really stress me.

I can feel my face breaking out.

I called my tech guy but currently he is pretty much unavailable. He actually has this OTHER job. He tried to trouble shoot over the phone on one of his breaks.

It didn't solve my problem.

When I have big computer problems I can leave him alone with my computer and he ends up doing some sort of tech guy stuff and it works again. He works right in my house. When he fixes it he explains what was wrong and how he fixed it.

I pretend to listen. I say thank you.

He says he'll send a bill.

I tell him cool, I'll send him what he can pretend is money.

I should have listened.

I miss my tech guy.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Sleeping With A Bat

I have stayed up too late finishing a book. It was the second in the Fable Haven series so it was a little scary with magical creatures and deception.

I am now so tired that I can't go to sleep and the house is super quiet. I just finished checking the perimeter of the house. I looked out all the windows to see if I saw any shadows moving around. I check the windows to see if they were locked.

I remembered I have a bat in the closet GG gave me. I'm going to get the bat. It's a metal or aluminum one and I bet I could really swat someone if I had too.

All the dogs are passed out snoring. Losers. They are not to be relied on. I hear noises and they barely twitch. If The Marine were home I either wouldn't hear the noises or I'd wake him up to go check them.

Well no, I wouldn't wake him up unless it was a big noise. He gets too grumpy.

I took an Ambien. It should kick in soon. I am hoping the little red dog will alert me to danger. Except I make him stay up in the girl's room because he barks at me in the middle of the night from under my bed. NOW THAT freaks me out.

I miss The Marine. I do have Recruit 6 passed out in here next to me. I've been watching his karate moves lately. Some of which I took pictures of to post. I may be covered. And our favorite City Police Officer, OT , is on patrol tonight, so I should be good.

Okay, Ambien working. Wish me luck I get computer shut down and I make it under the covers before I can't stay awake...

Hmm, think I'll end this post now..... feeling a little better. house is secure...I'm sure. I have my bat....

Friday, February 6, 2009

What do I do alone in a hotel room at 0630? I write rhyme-y stuff!

I am on a trip away from my family, ever wonder what happens to me mentally?

I have no one to order, command or get dressed. I am left to do what ever I feel is best.

So I took my time dressing without anyone around. My mind was wide open, and this is what I found.

As I dressed for the day I sat down to put on my face. There was this lit make-up mirror in this fancy place.

Without little beasties there was little distraction, these were my thoughts as I went to into action:

"Mirror Mirror on the stand become old and wrinkled I see I am.
Youth is fading, maps appear. Highways from ear to ear.

If I am honest and truth be told, I really didn't feel like I was old,
I just felt like me, until I looked at you, lighting and reflecting a different view."

The mirror thought for a moment reflecting back my gaze, then slowly spoke as if from a haze,
"Old and wrinkled yes, but don't forget strong. You've endured the world but carried on.
Love, laughter, grief and sorrow, you've lived IN your life, not just dreamed of tomorrows.

Eyes crinkle with laughter, brows furrow with heartbreak, each line reflecting this life where you've placed a stake.

Husband and children are part of your story. Sacrifice and commitment reap eternal glory.
Lines and wrinkles come with age, what's not sun damage is wisdom making you sage.

Put on your make up and for your day prepare!

But remember this truth while you fix your hair;
Only you can prevent transgression, sin and despair.

You have a choice how you move through change.
Stay here in the mirror like many do, or realize it's only a small part of you.

What I show you is an outer shell. One you need to take care of, nurture, keep well.
But to focus on me as the brunt of your being, well that's just silly and precious time stealing."

Thoughtfully I finished my hair, mascaraed my lashes, lipsticked my lips and of my youth saw flashes. When I was done I sat back and looked at the mirror on the stand, my past already gone, my future at hand.

The words rang true, and it's what I always believed, but sometimes it's hard with the mirror's bright light circling me.

I checked my lipstick one last time, unplugged the mirror, I was running out of time. I'd had my moment of "do I need Botox?" that was enough of those silly thoughts.

I grabbed my cute brown shoes and thrust my feet in. Flung on my scarf and was ready to begin.

I paused for a moment to say my prayers. "Father thank you for a face that has the opportunity to age. That means I'm still here turning the page. Please bless me today I'll do what is right, uplift others and fight the good fight.

Until you say it's time to come home, let the mirror show all the love that has been sown. I'll check to make sure I've stayed with in the lines, no lipstick on teeth, no dirt or grime.
I'll go do good things, I'll try to reflect in my eyes, the love of the Savior, I'll try to be wise.

I just have one small request if I could, when The Marine looks at me, can you make me look good?"


What follows on these posts is true to the best of my knowledge, except what isn't. I only change names to protect the innocent and not so innocent.