Every Sunday we attend Sacrament meeting. Every Sacrament meeting with the exception of Stake conference or General Conference which each occurs twice a year, we have the opportunity to receive the sacrament bread and water. This is not a new or unusual event in Recruit 6's life. In fact, it's as familiar to him as any other family activity, event, or tradition we have.
So it never fails to amaze me when one of my children need additional teaching about Sacrament and why we are there. It also never fails to be DURING SACRAMENT when we have these lessons.
Recruit 6 "When are we eating?"
Recruit 6: "I'm hungry"
Kelli: "shh, we are not eating, you get a piece of bread and little cup of water and your supposed to be thinking about Jesus right now."
Recruit 6 slumps back, picks up his church back pack, unzips it and pulls out a giant conch shell Elder "E" gave to him last Sunday before he left on his mission. He holds it up to his ear. I ignore this. Mostly because I was touched Elder E gave it to him and because I miss Elder E too. And if it would keep him still and quiet then super.
Recruit 6: "Mom, Mom, MOM, MOM"
Kelli: "STOP IT, shhhhh, WHAT?"
Recruit 6: "Mom, um... you can hear the ocean. Do you want to hear it?"
Kelli: "no thank you."
The sacrament prayer is given and the bread is being passed. Recruit 3 passes the tray to Recruit 6 who starts to grab with his left hand. We teach our children to take the sacrament and pass the tray with their Right hand. I correct him. This throws him off. Completely.
He drops the piece of bread he had picked up, became agitated and now didn't know what piece to take. So he fishes around.
Recruit 3 is trying not to laugh. I'm having a hot flash and getting irritated.
The Marine is in prayerful, peaceful contemplation next to me completely unaware, or ignoring us.
Recruit 6 locates the piece of bread he is actually going to take and passes the tray to me and I hopefully grabbed the first piece he had put back. I can't do anything about all the other pieces he hovered over. I apologize to those behind us today. Which is most of our side of the chapel. We are in the fourth row of chairs from the front. He took a bath a few days ago. His hands were fairly clean.
We pass the tray on and Recruit 6 leans over: "I need water".
I just look at him.
Recruit 6: more insistent, "I need to get water"
Kelli: "We are fixing to bless the water. Just hush"
Recruit 6: "Well can I have a big cup? Do we get the big cups?"
Kelli: "NO" (last Sunday they ran out of the regular little sacrament cups and we had to use bigger ones and he was annoyed because he was not one of the recipients of the bigger cups that day either.
The water is blessed and passed without incident. The first speaker begins their talk.
Recruit 6: "I need water, can I go get water?"
Recruit 6 takes out his shells, his pens, his paper, zips his back pack, pokes me a couple of times, packs everything up zips his backpack back up, sits on me, gets off of me, sits on me, pokes me.
Recruit 6: "Mom, Mom, Mom"
I really was about to lose it. Meanwhile on my right side sits the Marine oblivious to it all, or ignoring us.
Kelli: poking Recruit 6 in the chest repeatedly. "Do you like that? STOP poking me... now what?"
He giggles and says noooooo. I didn't mean for him to giggle.
Recruit 6: "If you break something, it's still something"
Kelli: "True" I turn back to the speaker.
Recruit 6 goes on. "Like a dollar bill, if you crumple a dollar bill, it's still a dollar bill."
Kelli: "True" both times I acknowledge him and return my attention to the speaker.
Tap Tap Tap "MOM"
Kelli: about to completely lose it not to mention the hot flash setting in. "What?"
Recruit 6: "Can I go get some water?"
Recruit 6 with big green eyes gazing up at me somewhat mystified as to my response, "But why not? It's so good for my body?"
I turned away from him. Took a deep breath and turned back and explained he could go once Sacrament meeting was over. He could get a drink then before his class.
Meanwhile the Marine is annoyed at me for all the movement and my obvious growing irritation and impatience with our precious son. The darling.
Marine: "You need to relax and just let him do his thing"
Kelli: with a hiss "You are completely unaware of what is happening here, and I am hot and he has been touching me repeatedly and zip zip unzip unzip zip zip... I cannot take much more."
Marine: "That's because I am focusing on the talks" and said with a very pointed tone of voice at me. As if I am purposely playing around. Oh that smug old man. I wanted to poke poke poke him a few times. I refrained. I was starting to sweat. He gave me that "ha, your in menopause look". I wanted to poke him harder.
Meanwhile I have now raised his awareness of the zip unzip poke poke poke and he leans over, and tells Recruit 6 in a VERY MEAN, all Marine-y voice to put it up and set his backpack down. Recruit 6 is now completely wounded and begins to cry. The Marine steps in to assist me just as the closing song is being sung. I've already endured over an hour of this. NOW he helps?
And I have to get Recruit 6 quiet by the end of the last verse so no one hears his sobs during the closing prayer. We are not in a very big chapel.
I'm sitting at the other end of our row next Sunday.