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Sunday, February 27, 2011

Recruit 6 and Sacrament


Every Sunday we attend Sacrament meeting. Every Sacrament meeting with the exception of Stake conference or General Conference which each occurs twice a year, we have the opportunity to receive the sacrament bread and water. This is not a new or unusual event in Recruit 6's life. In fact, it's as familiar to him as any other family activity, event, or tradition we have.

So it never fails to amaze me when one of my children need additional teaching about Sacrament and why we are there. It also never fails to be DURING SACRAMENT when we have these lessons.

Recruit 6 "When are we eating?"

Kelli: "What?"

Recruit 6: "I'm hungry"

Kelli: "shh, we are not eating, you get a piece of bread and little cup of water and your supposed to be thinking about Jesus right now."

Recruit 6 slumps back, picks up his church back pack, unzips it and pulls out a giant conch shell Elder "E" gave to him last Sunday before he left on his mission. He holds it up to his ear. I ignore this. Mostly because I was touched Elder E gave it to him and because I miss Elder E too. And if it would keep him still and quiet then super.

Recruit 6: "Mom, Mom, MOM, MOM"

Kelli: "STOP IT, shhhhh, WHAT?"

Recruit 6: "Mom, um... you can hear the ocean. Do you want to hear it?"

Kelli: "no thank you."

The sacrament prayer is given and the bread is being passed. Recruit 3 passes the tray to Recruit 6 who starts to grab with his left hand. We teach our children to take the sacrament and pass the tray with their Right hand. I correct him. This throws him off. Completely.

He drops the piece of bread he had picked up, became agitated and now didn't know what piece to take. So he fishes around.

Recruit 3 is trying not to laugh. I'm having a hot flash and getting irritated.

The Marine is in prayerful, peaceful contemplation next to me completely unaware, or ignoring us.

Recruit 6 locates the piece of bread he is actually going to take and passes the tray to me and I hopefully grabbed the first piece he had put back. I can't do anything about all the other pieces he hovered over. I apologize to those behind us today. Which is most of our side of the chapel. We are in the fourth row of chairs from the front. He took a bath a few days ago. His hands were fairly clean.

We pass the tray on and Recruit 6 leans over: "I need water".

I just look at him.

Recruit 6: more insistent, "I need to get water"

Kelli: "We are fixing to bless the water. Just hush"

Recruit 6: "Well can I have a big cup? Do we get the big cups?"

Kelli: "NO" (last Sunday they ran out of the regular little sacrament cups and we had to use bigger ones and he was annoyed because he was not one of the recipients of the bigger cups that day either.

The water is blessed and passed without incident. The first speaker begins their talk.

Recruit 6: "I need water, can I go get water?"

Kelli: "No"

Recruit 6 takes out his shells, his pens, his paper, zips his back pack, pokes me a couple of times, packs everything up zips his backpack back up, sits on me, gets off of me, sits on me, pokes me.

Recruit 6: "Mom, Mom, Mom"

I really was about to lose it. Meanwhile on my right side sits the Marine oblivious to it all, or ignoring us.

Kelli: poking Recruit 6 in the chest repeatedly. "Do you like that? STOP poking me... now what?"

He giggles and says noooooo. I didn't mean for him to giggle.

Recruit 6: "If you break something, it's still something"

Kelli: "True" I turn back to the speaker.

Recruit 6 goes on. "Like a dollar bill, if you crumple a dollar bill, it's still a dollar bill."

Kelli: "True" both times I acknowledge him and return my attention to the speaker.

Tap Tap Tap "MOM"

Kelli: about to completely lose it not to mention the hot flash setting in. "What?"

Recruit 6: "Can I go get some water?"

Kelli: "NOOOOO"

Recruit 6 with big green eyes gazing up at me somewhat mystified as to my response, "But why not? It's so good for my body?"

I turned away from him. Took a deep breath and turned back and explained he could go once Sacrament meeting was over. He could get a drink then before his class.

Meanwhile the Marine is annoyed at me for all the movement and my obvious growing irritation and impatience with our precious son. The darling.

Marine: "You need to relax and just let him do his thing"

Kelli: with a hiss "You are completely unaware of what is happening here, and I am hot and he has been touching me repeatedly and zip zip unzip unzip zip zip... I cannot take much more."

Marine: "That's because I am focusing on the talks" and said with a very pointed tone of voice at me. As if I am purposely playing around. Oh that smug old man. I wanted to poke poke poke him a few times. I refrained. I was starting to sweat. He gave me that "ha, your in menopause look". I wanted to poke him harder.

Meanwhile I have now raised his awareness of the zip unzip poke poke poke and he leans over, and tells Recruit 6 in a VERY MEAN, all Marine-y voice to put it up and set his backpack down. Recruit 6 is now completely wounded and begins to cry. The Marine steps in to assist me just as the closing song is being sung. I've already endured over an hour of this. NOW he helps?

And I have to get Recruit 6 quiet by the end of the last verse so no one hears his sobs during the closing prayer. We are not in a very big chapel.

I'm sitting at the other end of our row next Sunday.

Alone.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Too early

It's Saturday morning and I'm up. I didn't need to be up as early I am, but Luke thought I needed to be. He jumped on the bed, sat on Recruit 6, who sometime in the night snuck into my "pocket", and then rolled over him, stretched out next to me, and started licking. Everything.

Me, Recruit 6, himself. And not in that order.

I finally got up to let him and Scratch out, but I had to stand at the door because a panel on our fence blew down yesterday. So I was assaulted by early morning February air.

I did attempt to crawl back into bed between the Marine and Recruit 6 (if someone didn't understand this blog that whole sentence is just wrong) and I laid there for thirty minutes really wanting to fall back asleep.

I couldn't, my mind was awake and the following thoughts, all at once were running through it at a high rate of speed.

"I need to get my taxes done"
"I need to fill out the FAFSA" (or whatever those initials are)
"I need to pee"
"I need to fill out the insurance claim forms from the cars being broken into"
"My house stinks"
"Recruit 6 stinks"

It was all too much. So I got up and checked out Facebook.

Sometimes that really stresses me out. Especially if there are any potentially contentious posts. I just click through them.

So now I have to really get moving. We have a full day of Lacrosse and I need to make a to do list for Recruit 1 and 4. They are taking care of the little boys today since the girls all have a Lacrosse game in another town. The joy would be to see if they actually look at my list.

My BF is bringing her camera with us to the girl's game. I get to touch it, so maybe I'll have some pictures of our adventures today to load up later! Sigh... one can dream...

In the meantime, I have to go awaken the Marine. That is always a dicey move.

I did scare him though early early this morning. I guess I startled him awake by snoring in his ear. At least this time he just informed me I had startled him instead of going all mean and nasty forcing me to use bad words.

So I grunted and turned over to snore in Recruit 6's ear. He likes it, he snuggled into my pocket and sighed deeply as only a 6 year old can. It made me jealous.

I having nothing of value to add to this post. I am just procrastinating to avoid what I know is next. The awakening of the beasties, to include husband and sons.

Wish me luck...

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Thrilling Thursday

So today is not even a day I can begin to describe. Suffice it to say it was busy, challenging and filled with many little "seriously???" moments. Two of which I'll share.

First one. and I have to provide some background:

I have always been gifted with words. Writing, speaking, yelling, screaming... whatever. Rarely do words fail me. It is possible however, I could maybe, sort of, out talk a few folks. I don't know.

I've also always been very sensitive, so when my mother-in-law and sister-in-law said one day they saw the perfect t-shirt for me, I was flattered. Until they described it. It was a stick figure
( I was very thin once upon a time) with a flip top head, mouth wide open and the caption on the shirt said, "HELP! I'm talking and can't shut up!" I was sad. I really was.

And I don't remember but probably told them so in 3000 words.

So. Lately, I've been having issues with my jaw popping and cracking and it has progressively gotten worse. I mean to the point I can't chew, open my mouth, yawn, snort, giggle, or grimace without a pop or a crack.

I finally made it to the orthodontist today.

I have to get a splint.

For my jaw.

What's worse. I had to call The Marine and tell him I had to get a splint.

For my jaw.

The comments and jokes and wisecracks have only just begun to roll in.

Event number two:

I was all ready to head to Recruit 2's first Lacrosse scrimmage tonight. I had blankets, extra jackets, and the video camera. As I pull to the end of our street, Recruit 2 calls. I answer with "What did you forget, I just left the house!"

Recruit 2 said "Mom! The jeep overheated and I'm broke down on the hwy" (in the median, not on the side). The Marine told him next time he breaks down and pulls into the median instead of off to the side he was going to just run over him instead of rescue him.

I was heading to the practice fields to get Recruits 5 and 6 from their Lacrosse practice when he called me, so I told Recruit 2 to call his Dad and call me back so I would know what to get.

The Marine called, gave me instructions and said he would meet me at the jeep. Now, I'm just frazzled already at this point with the events of the day, to include the fact my face will soon be splinted.

Add to that worry and it's getting dark and my Recruit and his friend (of the female persuasion) are in the middle of the highway with an overheating jeep. It was probably on fire! It was probably on Fire and the looky-lou drivers would lose control of their vehicles and crash into my children! OR they would be kidnapped and sold as child slaves to a third world country.

As my mind races, my foot drops heavier and heavier on the gas. I finally see the blinking hazard lights in the distant and zip over and pull in behind the jeep. As I do bright blue lights of a state trooper zip over and pull in behind me.

Seriously??? Because of the recent theft, I do not have my driver's license and I have no idea how fast I was driving. My heart was in my tennis shoes. Like under the insole. I was walking on my heart.

He doesn't get out of his vehicle. Which I thought was odd, so now I was actually worried about moving around too much. I didn't want him to think I was trying to escape.

Recruit 2 obviously didn't have the same fear because he started pulling out the water, and radiator green fluid I had brought. I walk back to troopers car, slowly, with my hands showing and empty. I've seen cop shows.

and he asks if we need help. Ah... It's the only time I've had a state trooper pull over behind me and not frown at me while whipping out a ticket pad.

I was probably speeding and so I was more than happy to hear him ask if we were okay and what was going on. He was keeping us safe by sitting there with those seizure inducing lights flashing and not asking for my license, insurance and registration. It was a whole new experience for me!

I tell him what is happening and that the Marine will be there shortly. He said he would stay until we got out of the median. And he did. Blue lights flashing the whole time. I had to not look at them. I would have needed Kepra or some other anti seizure med...

The Marine arrived, took over and we discovered there was a nice size crack in the radiator. I told the Marine I would drive the jeep home and Recruit 2 could take the van and all the kids and they could all continue on their way and go to the game. I would be fine.

I knew how to pull over and pour more water in the radiator.

Yep, didn't work too well. I hadn't gone a full mile and I had to pull over. I pulled into a "fuel market" and opened the hood. Steam rose out of the jeep in a big cloud.

A helpful fellow offered me advice as I was filling the radiator up with water. He suggested I go in and ask for an egg. It would just "seal that baby right up". Or, "pepper will do the trick too, just dump a whole thing of pepper in there."

Why thank you kind stranger who must be high.

I am happy to report I did not do either. I did however call my insurance company and discovered I have towing coverage. Rock on, tow man cometh and take me home.

While waiting for the tow man, I called the Marine and told him my plan. He said if that's what I wanted to do, but sounded somewhat uneasy about having left me to handle this, at my insistence.

What he probably doesn't get is being alone outside a well lit, but somewhat sketchy, fuel market, all alone (yes I said it twice) was actually not a bad way to spend the evening. However I realized then I didn't want to ride with the tow man. What if he was a secret rapist? Or worse... I'm not sure what is worse, but what if?

So I called one of my BFs.

Kelli: "Hey BF, whatcha doin?"

BF: "Eating dinner"

Kelli: "Well how would you like to meet me at the ____ sketchy Fuel Market and wait with me while the tow man comes and picks up the jeep?"

BF: "Well alright, I'll be right there!"

And that was it! She left her dinner and came to hang out with me. As we pulled out of the parking lot of the sketchy fuel market, BF pointed down a side road and said, "see, right down there a month or two ago a man had the crap beat out of him and died."

Well BF, I am glad you waited till we were pulling out to share that tidbit with me! Otherwise I would have felt compelled to practice my Ninja moves outside your suburban like Recruit 6 does and quite frankly I was really just too tired for that.

I did get to go back to her house and eat her left over dinner though and the Marine joined us. Super nice! It was delish and the company was even better!

So now I am just finishing up a breakfast casserole to cook at 0500 tomorrow for my seminary class, winding down from the eventful day, and blogging all at the same time.

Recruit 4 and Scratch are snoring on the couch, the Marine just set the alarm on the house and retired for the evening. All the other Recruits are in their respective beds, I wasn't raped by a motorcycle gang at the sketchy fuel market, and Recruit 2 didn't break an ankle at his first scrimmage. Today is closed down and labeled a success!

I can only imagine what tomorrow will bring!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

"I love to see the Temple... I'm going there some day...."

In December, when Recruit 1 came out for Christmas, she came in time to attend the Temple on a youth Temple trip with our family. It was Recruit 4's first time to attend the Temple and it was our families first time to be in the Temple together with four of our six children. The Temple we attend is about two and a half to three hours from where we live, so it's always an adventure.

The Temple for Latter Day Saints is a holy and sacred place. It is a wonderful place to go, grow, and draw close to the Lord. As converts to the church the Marine and I look back in awe those 18 odd years ago when our family was young and small. To look at these pictures now fills me with joy and happiness.

It's appropriate that I post this tonight because the Marine and I finished up teaching the Temple Prep class for our ward. It has been wonderful to spend time with the Marine twice a week for three weeks teaching and preparing others to attend the Temple. Plus he's really cute and I love watching him teach...


The day we drove to the Temple was cold, and wet and yucky and gross. However you can tell I am tickled to be closed in with my wonderful family and making this trip. It would have been nice if the Son-in-law could have been with us, but he had not yet arrived in town. Something about a job, having to support Recruit 1, I don't know, something like that...

It was nice for the Recruits to spend time together. Craziness abounded and the close quarters brought out the best of everyone! I know these two miss each other. Gross children. What's a mom to do?

Recruit 3 plugged in, but was still participating in family fun. She is such a doll. Sometimes like a barbie, sometimes like a princess, and sometimes like Chuckie from that scary movie I've never seen. The previews freaked me out.

You can barely see Recruit 4 in the back seat too. He plugged in and ignored us. Pretty typical. He's 12.

We really had to contain him in his excitement for his first Temple trip... He seriously is just to excited for his own good.

You can tell everyone is happy to be together, all the beautiful smiles . And Recruit 4, wow, we had to really calm him down! Out of control that one.

If I remember right, we started talking to Recruit 2 about his future. He pretended to go to asleep.

And the Marine! I mean really, could he just be any jollier??? You can tell Recruit 4 takes after his father with all their out of control craziness!

Family self portrait! There's the real Marine. Recruit 4 is there, promise, we didn't throw him out on the highway. You just can't see him.

What a blessing and joy it was to have her home for this day. Wish we lived closer. sigh...

I don't remember, and I don't want to know what caused this look from Recruit 2. I'm sure it was gross.

Now this is a funny story. We are eating before going into the Temple and Recruit 1 had to call the Son-in-law because she spent money at the Book Store and needed to let him know BECAUSE (and this is insane and something we will NEVER have) every time she uses the check or credit card, he gets a text notification!!! NO WAY! The Marine would have had a heart attack if we had that set up. She was "discussing" her recent purchase outside the Wendy's with him while we all ate... and laughed at her.

Even after eating his joy is still contagious. Really, we need to calm him down. People were staring.

I don't remember, and I don't want to know what caused this expression either. I just wished he had shaved ALL the way. He's just excited he's growing facial hair that connects.

Outside the Temple. It's so beautiful and peaceful. I have no idea where Recruits 3 and 4 are. Probably already inside. It was COLD! By the way, we are not wearing white tights. Summer sun, o where art thou?

Just a little extra love. You can see Recruit 2 really loves this time with his sister and I.

On the way out. Recruit 4 AT LAST is showing an expression. Only problem is it involves his tongue. He has asked several times when we are going back. Never could have guessed that he had a great time!

Notice the choke hold? Prior to the camera snapping there were softly spoken words of love into his tiny man cub ears. At least I got one decent smile!

By the time we got out of the Temple the temp had dropped, there was snow/sleet coming down and we were all quite chilled. But wait, Recruit 4 is actively engaged in a family photo! It was such a beautiful day! It was also quite a pleasant and happy trip. Rare, and not something we can always say with this many siblings stuck in close quarters together. Such cute kids. I decided to keep them all for Christmas.

These last two pictures represents what is important to me. Of course I'm missing a few family members, but you get the point, and they were there in my heart.

P.S. Recruit 4 is not disabled. He is just being a toot and his new thing is to mess up every picture he can. I love these people!

Monday, February 21, 2011

What Does a Marine Family Do During the Holidays?

We shoot each other. But of Course!

Yes, it's February and I'm writing about the 2010 holiday season.
As our family grows up and adds in-laws, and soon grandchildren. We thought it would be fun to add some traditions.

It doesn't have to always be the same tradition, but one that involves an activity of some kind to make memories and have family members work together. Or play together. And take pictures of course!

This year we had a Christmas Day Nerf War. The Marine and I were on opposite teams. We set up and played capture the flag. It was the Son-in-laws idea. On his mission he shared how he and other Elders (the title our missionary goes by, like Elder Smith, Elder Jones etc) would play capture the flag. He laid down the rules, some of which I followed. Some of which I guess I didn't hear clearly. There were certain areas of the building we didn't play in. So some areas were off limits.

Either way my team beat the Marine's team several times! I was giddy with victory! Only to get assaulted repeatedly by the Marine's team every chance they got. I was targeted. I know I was.

I grabbed their "flag" one time and ran around the building to the other side screaming "I got it, I got it" only to find out we were in a time out. The Marine was working on a jammed weapon. Everyone just looked at me and said "WE ARE NOT PLAYING RIGHT NOW". Both teams said this. I was sad.

I said, yeah but if we were I WON I WON!

Well no one told me. But it makes sense now why I wasn't challenged. And oh how I ran... it was thrilling!

There were claims several times of cheating. I explained AGAIN that I wasn't cheating... I just didn't quite understand the rules. The Son-in-law obviously had a communication issue with me and the Marine, well he's just mean and always accuses me of manipulating something or bending the rules, or making them up as I go. So. I'm the mother.

Muwahahahahaahahahahah

Let's just say my team kicked booty! And looked good doing it!

Check out my weapon. I know it's mine because as of the time this picture was taken, I was the only Mommy. Next year I will have to be Grandmother, or if MY mom is playing, well, I will have to be Grandmother 2 or something.

This picture was really for The Marine. I had just shot him. I think he enjoyed it. Not sure, but why wouldn't he. Although now looking at this picture I see somewhat of what might be considered a crazed look in my eye.

My girls. They were both on The Marine's team. I had the other boys. I think they were discussing strategy.
Or maybe they were plotting. Or discussing different ways to wear the latest Nerf accessory. You can see baby poking out a little! Let's all take a moment to sigh. Recruit One is so tiny that baby has no room! She is going to be a big round belly with arms and legs sticking out by July!

The Marine got a remote helicopter. It came with us too so he could have a safer place to fly it rather than my house! He now flies it in the house and when I am sitting in my chair working, he hovers over me and tries to land it on me. It's annoying. I pretend like I don't know he's dive bombing me. It is only hard to ignore when the hovering mini copter is blowing my hair.


Here you see it hovering around the Christmas tree in the foyer.


Here you see the Son-In-Law checking his weapon. He was on my team. I KNOW he was tickled to be on his Mother-in-law's team! I mean who wouldn't be?


Here is Recruit 4, he is totally excited. I just don't remember why. The problem with blogging two months later...

It was really a lot of fun and if NERF guns weren't so stinkin' expensive I'd say let's do it next year. I'm thinking we need a paint ball war next year. I bet the cost of buying all the Nerf guns would be the same as paint ball rental. The base has a paint ball field. I wonder what it would cost to rent it just for us. I think it would be a hoot to have The Marine family against another family from church. Good times, Good times... Recruit One will have have our new grand baby so I can sit out and bounce him while they all splatter each other.

OR...

OH I KNOW, I could start buying coveralls now, and get our team name put on the back and get the other family to buy different colored coveralls and put their team name on the back and... Oh I've got planning to do...

I've got to find another family for the shoot out.

This could be good.


Sunday, February 20, 2011

My Birthday Review


February 20th a hundred years ago a little baby girl was born to a young Airman and his wife in Madrid, Spain.

I'd like to say she was a beautiful baby, but she found a letter her mother had written to her grandmother that indicated this might not have been the case. However... later it came true after the newborn phase was through. I promise she became much cuter.

Okay, it was me!!!

Present number 1:
Yesterday I drove up and there was a box on my porch. I wondered what did I order now? I hadn't, it was a birthday box from my mother! I love boxes from my mother! I've hidden all the candy but Recruit 6 saw today where it was hidden. It's probably already gone. He is a candy fiend.

Today was my actual birthday, and of course The Marine is not here. It's okay though, I won't be here for his birthday this spring either. So there.

However, I think he cleaned the bathroom (present number 2) before he left as part of his birthday present to me and NOT his attempt to make me feel bad for not enjoying/performing house work. You can read about what ticks him off if you really want to know.

So, my birthday. This morning I woke up a few minutes before the alarm went off but laid there a few minutes, knowing that I would have to get up and iron all the white shirts. This is a job usually done by The Marine every Sunday morning. He's not here. I mentioned that. I know.

Present number 3:

I heard Recruit 2 come down the stairs and get the dogs from my room, shut my door and let them outside.

Hmmm. Very interesting.

That is not normal. He got up on his own, BEFORE my alarm went off, AND came down stairs AND let the dogs out. Nice... I mean you don't understand. That was truly effort on his part and I was really touched. He's a wonderful almost adult.

Present number 4:
So I jumped out of bed only to find Recruit 2 making breakfast! He was so sweet! I said why are you up? He said, "well I wanted to make you breakfast but you got out of bed." I told him I would gladly eat whatever he fixed, but I had to iron. He was so pleasant about it and didn't complain or anything.

Present number 5:
Wonderful sacrament meeting today! As Latter Day Saints, our Sunday main meeting is called a sacrament meeting. Today however we had a malfunction that required we partake of the Sacrament at the end of the meeting instead of at the beginning. So we heard the talks first.

The talks were all wonderful. One of my young women students from the seminary class I teach gave a wonderful talk and she looked beautiful up there. Then a friend of mine gave a talk and I just wanted to hug her. She had had a bad morning before church, had altercations with two teen daughters, and then had to come to church and speak about love! I just wanted to give her a giant hug. How many times have I been in her position? A lot. It's really awful to be screaming at your kids and then go to church and have to teach a lesson on kindness, patience, love, etc... Bless her for her honesty!

Present 6:
Recruit 4 is now old enough to pass Sacrament. It really is a gift to see him passing the bread and water so reverently and respectfully. He is a force to be reckoned with and I am grateful to have him as mine.

During Sacrament the bread and water are passed. Recruit 6 started stressing out when we didn't get to "eat". I need to talk to him! sigh...

Then he wanted a "big" cup. The extra cups they had to get because we were out of our regular little plastic cups were much bigger. He was feeling slighted he had gotten a 'little' cup. I spent a minute trying to explain to him and then finally said "be quiet or I'm taking you out!" (not taking him out like shooting him, but taking him out of the chapel, felt the need to clarify that...)

Present number 7:
Watching Recruit 2 hold a baby during the meeting. She is so calm and patient and loving. Wish she was that way with some of her own brothers. However I truly enjoy watching her with the babies. There is something so calm and peaceful the way she is when she is holding a baby. She will make a wonderful mother one day. (NOT TODAY)

Present number 8:
Sister E. brought me TAMALES!!!! I needed those! I have been wanting tamales since December. I didn't get any for Christmas. They were super yummy. We had them for lunch after church. I miss tamales.

Present number 9:
After church I walked in the house to discover the kitchen and den were clean and the clothes all put away! there was a note with several different Happy Birthday's written by cleaning Elves!!! That was fabulous!

Recruit 5 and 6 walked in behind me and both said OH BOY let's check out our room! Only to find that the elves failed to enter their dungeon. Recruit 2 laughed hysterically as the little boys ran to see if the 'elves' had visited their room. The Elves HAD NOT visited their room. It is still a dungeon.

Present number 11:
My "other" sons from church brought me some cookies! I have such love for the youth in my seminary class. I was really touched they brought me yummy treats.

Present number 12:
There was not nearly as much fighting today as there could be and have been before. They were all really trying. There were a few moments... but no blood or ER visits. Success!

I heard from my mom, my mom-in-law, and my sweet Recruit 1. Multiple birthday wishes via Facebook and friends at church. It was just wonderful!

Living so far away from my family has always been bittersweet. I miss them and I miss "home" but life in the Marine Corps has been good and has brought other "family" into my life I would have missed out on. I am happy and content.

Today was a good day.

Now if the Marine would just come home...


Saturday, February 19, 2011

MY MARINE AND WHAT MAKES HIM TICKed off.




Oh I have missed my blog. I just have not been able to find the time, or when I have the time I am beyond exhausted. So many big and small moments I've missed. Many small things I've posted on Facebook, mostly the funny things the kids say. The big moments have been Recruit One's wedding in December of 2009, the birth and death of my first Grandchild in August of 2010, and the wonderful news of a second, healthy baby boy due to arrive in July of 2011. All of which I am writing, but I just am not ready for it to be on a public blog. Maybe when I've finished and Recruit One is good with it I will share that story. It's beautiful and sad, but filled with love and a true testimony that God lives.

As a writer, I find myself writing in my head and in my heart all the time, but never quite capturing those moments on paper (or computer). I feel like I am not being true to a talent I've been given or to the need to capture moments for my children, and now grandchildren.

So, today, I try to begin again to do better.

Now this story isn't as tender or as touching as the one about my granddaughter, it's about him. That MAN/Marine I married. sigh.

My relationship with my husband, who I truly adore, has been described as volatile before. Not by me, but by a friend of ours. I like to call it feisty, fun, entertaining, energetic. He's always taken very good care of me and has been my knight in shining armour. We banter and quip, and on occasion have a humdinger of a disagreement, but always, always we have been tied to one another that is safe and loving and kind.

But I didn't like him very much last night.

Well really up until an hour ago I was highly irked (I think it's my hormones. Isn't it always?) In fact up until an hour ago I was thinking up all kinds of revenge-ish things to do.

Some of which were: never do his laundry again, always have both dogs and three of the kids in bed with me asleep when he came to bed so he would have to move everyone, drive off in his truck at random and odd moments, cook lots of deserts with nuts in them. He hates nuts. Eat peanut butter right before he wants to be romantic and NOT brush my teeth. He hates peanut butter.

Okay, so obviously I'm not talking sabotage. Just How to Annoy My Marine in six easy steps.

The Marine is on his way somewhere and will be back in a day or two. Let me just say first before I go any further how much I LOVE MY MARINE. I really do. Please refer back to this sentence in a little while.

We had a miscommunication last night. One that resulted in my waking from a dead sleep, him commenting on my snoring and how I just lay around and sleep all the time, and then me grabbing a pillow and storming out to climb onto the top bunk in Recruit 3's room where I promptly fell asleep. For one hour.

I then had to go to the bathroom. So without my glasses, in the dark and with a very shifty bed, I had to figure out how to climb back down, avoid all the 'stuff' on the floor to include a lacrosse stick I had injured myself on when I first arrived in her room.

I had to then again climb back up the shifty bed, toss and turn, then fall asleep, for another hour. However there was NO WAY I was going back where HE was.

He also cleaned our bathroom. And started laundry, which is what started his irritation. He has always helped with housework, but not always the bathroom and quite frankly I've been less than diligent. I'm just really really tired all the time and work and the kids and church come before the bathroom. Plus I hate cleaning it. So there, I've said it.

My point is, he might, perhaps, maybe had reason to be irritated, but still didn't need to be mean to me in the middle of the night, with me being startled awake. (I've since learned he had fallen asleep sitting up with the computer on his lap and my snoring startled HIM awake first). whatever.

So this morning I woke up, not well rested, avoided HIM, got the kids ready and took off for Lacrosse practice, Baseball sign ups, cleat shopping etc. The Marine stopped by the Lacrosse field to say goodbye since he was heading out of town and I had scurried everyone out of the house before he got up. on purpose. I KNOW<>.. I'm awful. I will tell my Bishop tomorrow....

He came to my window and kissed me goodbye.

I kissed him back.

There were people present.

He walked around to the passenger window and leaned in and said he knew it killed me to kiss him goodbye.

I said no. I didn't mind kissing him because if he died I would feel really bad if I hadn't kissed him.

He laughed.

I didn't.

He grinned.

I glared.

He drove off. I went cleat shopping.

Arriving several hours later we arrived home and I took my lunch to my room to sit down and watch a recorded show away from the kids. We'd spent the day together and I was needing a few minutes alone.

I couldn't locate the remote to my TV. I figured HE had hidden it as a parting shot.

Seriously, would he have stooped that low? YES, I think he would.

So I found the remote from the den TV and took it into the bedroom, pointed at the TV and clicked. The TV came on alright, but only to have a screen filled with the snow of death.

I knew immediately HE had done something to my cable in the bedroom as an extra parting shot. The poison on the tip of the spear so to speak. If losing the remote wasn't enough, it wouldn't matter when I found it. MARINES!! You really have to know who you are dealing with.

I checked the connections. My COMM Marine always says "did you check all the connections first?" whenever I call for help. (please say this in a mimicky whiney voice. I did) So I checked all the connections. No luck.

Cable worked everywhere else. Proof he was playing dirty. Really dirty.

I grabbed the phone and started to dial. I put it down. I didn't want to call him. He would know he'd gotten me. I could figure this out.

No I couldn't.

I picked up the phone.

I put it down.

I sighed heavily.

I grabbed it and dialed.

One ring, two rings, three rings. Oh this was going to annoy me if he didn't answer.

Marine: "Hello!" (Mr. Happy)

Kelli: "What. Did. You. Do. To. The. Cable. In. Our. Room.?" (Mrs. I will never be friendly to you again)

Marine: "What? Nothing." (Mr. Innocent)

Kelli: "Sure you didn't". and I hung up.

About an hour later the phone rings. Meanwhile, I've gone to HULU.com. so I'm a little calmer. Had my TV fix.

Kelli: after looking at the caller ID, "HELLO!" (said very firmly and with clear disgruntlement)

Marine: "Hey is Wade there? Does he have a minute?"
small talk small talk blah blah of which I was commenting little.

then

Marine: "Well, I've been listening to scripture on tape and I'm listening to Alma (in the Book of Mormon) and it's where all the battles are and it's great!"

Kelli: "harrumph" or some other disgusted sound.

Marine continues: "and I realized, I needed to call you and I didn't want to battle with you. You are my eternal companion and I love you very much."

Kelli: now softening a little because 1. The Marine was being sweet, and 2. I don't want to be the one to be in trouble with Heavenly Father since now the Marine was being humble. darn it.

Marine Continues: "and to fix the cable you just need to switch the two cables around"

I KNEW IT! IT WAS HIM! the rat.

In fact, when I was checking those two were loose.... AND I TIGHTENED THEM BACK... Little did I know they were loose because he had switched them. Oh and the remote was back there too. dirty dirty rat.

Marine Continues:"and I am very sorry.... and so on... more mushy stuff" that I won't repeat because then he will be annoyed because after all he is The Marine...

Kelli: "well. okay. but you really hurt my feelings! And I don't lay around and sleep all day! And yeah, you hurt me deeply"

Marine: "Yes, and I've apologized, and I do love you."

I can't remember anymore than that because at that point the recruits kept breaking in and I had to yell at them a couple of times. They were ruining the moment.

He explained he was asleep when my loud snoring startled him awake and he was just snapping and I thought he was awake already because he was sitting up with the computer on his lap still, which many a time I've removed from his lap, and he was just being mean for no apparent reason.

I love the Marine. He ticks me off but he always makes it better. I tick him off and usually have to clean something to make it up to him. I might be frustrating to live with sometimes - possibly. Don't take that as any sort of admittance to anything.

Recently, I think, but I can't be sure, it might have been more than usual.

I sat on his side of the bed yesterday eating food. That ticks him off.

I hadn't cleaned the bathroom, (in a few... days?) and there was tons of laundry. We had to use monster hooded towels...

We've eaten a lot of pizza and McDonald's lately.

And other little things, for instance; I have a hard time keeping up with my check card. I'm always looking for it and often have had to go out to the Marine's unit and get his check card from him.

Well recently two of our vehicles were broken into in our driveway and some things were stolen to included my whole purse (story for another time) and my check card was in there. So I had his. We got into the van to go get my military ID (which was stolen too) and as The Marine was driving and talking he looked down and said, well now that your new check card has arrived can I take mine back out of this bowl down here?"

I died. I had meant to move it before he got home so I wouldn't get lectured but I forgot. It was in a bowl sitting under the center console thingy and the bowl was there from something we'd taken to church (it was clean).

The who thing struck me as funny and I started laughing. Like giddy stupid laughing that often leads to an asthma attack. He looked at me. He wanted to be irritated but I must have been ridiculous looking and a slight grin started to creep up. He shook his head and said, "you are a mess. An unorganized mess." (if any of my bosses read this he only means personally, not professionally.)

He took his card back, got me a new ID card, and then took me to the exchange and bought me a new wallet. He really is sweet.

Our marriage may have been described as volatile, but I wouldn't have it any other way. He is good for me and I know I am good for him. 22 years, six kids, and a whole lot of Marine Corps and I couldn't ask for a better husband and best friend. And look, he can kiss me in the snow AND hang on to his corn dog bite! He is the most wonderful man in the world!

Disclaimer

What follows on these posts is true to the best of my knowledge, except what isn't. I only change names to protect the innocent and not so innocent.