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Monday, March 23, 2009

No Storm as of Yet!

So I've left for Norfolk and returned home since I last blogged. While I was away, The Marine as usual, did a fabulous job of being the house mouse.

It's really annoying.

Comforting to know I can leave for several days, but annoying that he doesn't suffer like I do.

Just once it would be nice to see him disheveled and curled up on the front porch twitching, waiting for me to ride in and rescue him. Not that I've ever been curled up on the front porch twitching. I usually have the presence of mind to hide inside the house and twitch.

Of course I've never left him for months on end either. I'm sure there would be a different ending to THAT story.

In the meantime...

The storm I fear on the horizon seems to be hovering in the distance with no indication it's going to move in. However it's not dissipated as of yet either. It could go either way at this point. I should probably clean something up and see if it makes it go away...

This morning there was a little lightning and thunder. The Marine irritated me and I irritated him and he threw not one, but TWO pitchers of cold water on me while I was taking a shower.

One 2 Gallon pitcher of glacier water came over the top of the shower curtain and the second pitcher he threw back the curtain and just blatantly doused me. Then giggled like a school girl.

I can't reveal here what we were fighting about. Mainly because it's almost 10:00 at night and I'm really tired and can't remember.

All I know is I would normally be planning vengeance but he has no boundaries when it comes to "game on" and I'm just too tired. Oh wait, I think I called into question his gender or something and that's what got me the second pitcher.

I just don't remember why I deserved the first pitcher.

I do know that yelling at your spouse while you are in the shower behind a shower curtain and with your eyes closed it a bad idea. very bad.

I'm sure I didn't deserve it though. Not that much anyway. I stopped yelling.

Although I do reserve the right to get him at an unknown day and hour. I just have to make sure I can run like the wind and hide for 72 hours. I'm thinking since he never reads the blog I should maybe take action swiftly. He won't be expecting it. Don't anyone tell him.

It requires me getting out of bed earlier than I feel comfortable with. I'll have to ponder this. Don't know if it will be worth it. He's trained to take someone down by their pinky. I know.

We must be beyond that honeymoon phase of the reunion. That's okay by me. I don't mind having him around all the time. He makes life more interesting, and dare I say a little exhilarating?? Try a cold pitcher of water at 0630, you WILL be exhilarated! At least that's what I'm calling it.

This is me thinking about pay back. Don't I look exhilarated??? MUWaaaHaaaHaaaa!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

There's a storm a-comin'!

I have just not had the time to sit down and keep up with blogging. So consequently I have all these blogs swimming around in my head waiting to spill out in clever and witty posts.

I'll just let you know up front, this really won't be clever or witty, but I'm at least posting! I figured it would be best to just catch up.

The Marine returned home earlier in the week. As usual I am always more than thrilled to have him home. The first twenty four hours are the best. Everyone is happy and I'm relieved to have help with parenting, the house, and our crazy schedule.

The next twenty four hours are good, but the glow is fading. The Marine has had plenty of time to notice what's broken, dirty, or turned upside down and at this point he is straining to not point it out. He did well. I could hardly tell he was straining. In fact, the only reason I know is because we have been hanging out together for longer than we were single.

The third twenty four hours, or day three, was still pleasant. However a slight current began to run beneath the surface. The Marine was no longer able to restrain himself, however his comments were very kind and supportive, except that one time, otherwise he's been really tolerant and understanding. However I began preparing myself.

Day four we had a tiff. I don't remember what it was about. It wasn't even blog worthy. However, it shows he's begining to crack under the pressure. I have to say though, The Marine has yet to visibly freak out due to the condition he found the office in. I'm actually impressed. He looked in and saw the chaos and I quickly yelled, I HAD TO DO TAXES. Which, by the way, is actually the truth.

This explanantion explained very clearly why it looks like someone dumped all our files into the middle of the room.

I'll fix it. I promise.

In spite of the evidence of the storm I know is brewing ( Thor I like to call him -I mean It), I wouldn't trade having the old grey haired fella being home for all the calm, balmy days in the world.

Besides I like a good storm every now and then, but don't tell him that, I haven't finished battening down the hatches. It's all about preparation...

Sunday, March 8, 2009

My Birthday!

I had a birthday in February. I am now officially older than I was before my birthday! Great. The Marine was still gone, but my kids and friends and through me a "surprise party". I knew something was up because Recruit 6 told me I had a birthday cake but it was at the Guard Guru's house.

He also said I had a BIIIIGGGGG Mickey Mouse card. HA! I didn't reveal this to anyone. He did pretty good. Recruit 1 had taken him shopping on Thursday and it was Friday afternoon before he began to sing like a bird.

I drove up to GG's house (Recruit 1 was going to do it at my house... THANK YOU GG!)

There was a crowd of merry makers making merry with various tools of merriment and holding a banner with "Happy Old Day" written across it, a woman with flippy hair and a botox needle...

The flippy hair girls is in the lower right left hand corner. She was well drawn. That's all I'll say.

You can see Recruit 2 making a face, M&M in front of him along with GG, little bit, The coffee shop lady and the Math teacher. Okay see if you can figure out whose who.

The Math teacher's body, Stilts his son, J&M, M&M's brother, and another boy.

They were blowing horns. Oh and here is another character in our life, The assistant GG, she just married her own Marine and is leaving us soon. Loser. I don't know why she would want to leave us for love. We are like family! Just different colors. A lot of different colors. We are a flippin' rainbow of love here!!!!!

And always there is FOOD. GG is Filipino and Irish. She has kept my children alive when The Marine leaves. Recruit 4 asked if we were going over there this past weekend and I said yes. He responded with oh thank goodness, FOOD! I should be ashamed in there somewhere, but I'm not.

The Marine was on the phone and Recruit 1 handed it to me as I walked up to the merry making revelers. He was sad he couldn't be there. He likes to eat too... Check out the tiny head of Recruit 5, 6 is behind me. They were a little confused as we walked up and everyone started hollering.

I got presents! But I had to wear this hat. And, I've only included two pics of present time because everyone of them my mouth was open or contorted. It's like they ONLY took pictures when I looked silly. Or I was so excited and didn't stop oohing and awing...

See, not pretty. Many more like this. ug.

Recruit 1. She really is a pretty girl and somewhat normal. Just not here.

The Coffee Shop lady and The Office Lady. I like them both very much. The Office Lady even gave me a whole bag of broccoli and was kind enough to include Benadryl since I'm allergic to broccoli! Gosh. Friends.

GG and her plate. We must EAT!!! And at HER HOUSE. She is my HERO!!!

M&M's mama. I love her! She is the best! M&M and Recruit 1 are best friends. They share a single brain cell between the two of them and often end up fighting with it. We have remained unsullied by the hormonal ragings of our teeny-boppers. Her husband is friends with the Marine. HE's the one that defiled my van with F250 signs. I am still plotting. I've just been busy.


The offspring of various friends. The Picture lady is in the back. She used to be a coffee shop lady, but now she is the picture lady.

My big girl! She is leaving me soon. sniff.

The coffee shop lady and I. We're are stars!

GG's going to be mad this one is up. Don't anyone tell her. She NEVER reads the blog.

so if she's mad I can just refer her to this picture of myself. It's just weird and creepy. Those are the coffee shop lady's hands on my face. She was showing me what I would look like with a face lift. Here it's more of a face pull.
I am slow in getting this up. But I felt loved and I had great friends there. Not all who are in the pictures. The Sailor just left for a deployment. She's married to the Math teacher, so I hope if she can read this she knows she's missed! It was a fun night and it helped make getting a little older a lot more fun.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The Marine Called

He read my post from yesterday. He said he was on his way home.

I didn't laugh.

Monday, March 2, 2009

I am cold.

I once told The Marine I couldn't do laundry until it was at least 40 degrees outside. Our washer and dryer at the time were outside on a carport in the closet/storage area. It was a CAR PORT people, meaning just a cover, no walls. It was 23 degrees out. No one should do laundry when it's 23 degrees out.

Not much has changed. It's just too cold to do anything. It's going to feel like 14 degrees tonight even though it will be 24 degrees.

I am posting this as a warning to anyone who may stop by. I'm not cleaning until we hit 40 degrees and by that I mean it has to FEEL like 40 degrees too, it can't just BE 40 degrees (or the Marine calls and says he's on his way home, whichever comes first).

Sunday, March 1, 2009

I'm Wearing Your Pajammas and Driving Your Truck AT THE SAME TIME

So usually about now when The Marine is gone (we are six weeks into it) I start to lose it. It's inevitable, and for those of you unfamiliar with the cycle of insanity that happens when Marines leave their families, it's normal, I promise.

Six kids, a job, a house, and the supernatural pile of laundry oozing out of the laundry room is enough to make anyone lose there mind. The dogs all need their nails clipped and their bodies washed, the house stinks and I need a new refrigerator. It's dying.

Today was just the day.

After several incidents with several children I decided it was all The Marine's fault. So I put on his Christmas PJ's and drove his truck. It didn't feel vindictive enough, so I called him. A lot. From inside his truck.

I even held the phone out the window near the engine as we idled outside Taco Bell. If he had been here I'm sure I would have never been driven to driving in his night clothes.

Certainly not in his truck in anyway...

He told me to go home immediately and park the truck.

I laughed maniacally and screamed NEVER!!! Then, hung up and gunned the engine. I meant to gun the engine and then hang up but I got confused between my cell phone and the gas pedal.

One fiesta chicken bowl and a Dr. Pepper later, as well as the crushed dreams of several children, and an attempt to pry into the "personal life" of my oldest child, I'm feeling much better.

Don't worry, the children weren't too crushed and really the only dream I crushed was when Recruit 6 bounced into my room wanting to know if I had any "weapons" he could use. I said NO. He eyed my roll of brown wrapping paper left over from Christmas and grabbed it. I said put it back and he tried to negotiate with me while twirling it in a crazy num-chuck fashion around his body. I won, he was crushed.

If there is snow or ice in this town tomorrow and "they" all stay home with me, I promise you, I'm staying in the Jammie's, firing up the diesel and turning the seat warmers on.

I'll be sure to call.


What follows on these posts is true to the best of my knowledge, except what isn't. I only change names to protect the innocent and not so innocent.