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Thursday, March 17, 2011

Hurricane Preparedness with Recruits

Hurricane season often gives our family a chance to work together. Usually in the 11th hour getting ready for an impending hurricane. Or the potential for an impending hurricane. I took these last year and never took the time to post them. So, I'm sitting in the den listening to something about heavy artillery. Not by choice.

The guy just said the "the thing about heavy artillery is it's heavy..." Oh my gosh... I could have written that text... Anyway, back to hurricanes. I'm blocking out the Military Channel.

Let me walk you through my pictures. Here you see the Marine giving direction and guidance to the recruits. We have to make room in the garage for our fence. It's an awful vinyl fence that has to be taken down every hurricane. It's a pain. The reason, it's awful and vinyl and we live on a corner lot. The winds whip through here like... well like a HURRICANE!

Everyone works. The two little recruits had on their headlamps. They were ready for a power outage. At any moment. They blinded me several times. They blinded The Marine. I haven't seen their headlamps recently now that I think about it... Note to self, hurricane season is starting again, get new headlamps for recruits.

The Marine continues to guide and educate the Recruits. See the paint can in his hand. He's not holding it up for hurricane preparedness. Someone had spray painted the shelves on the other
side of the refrigerator and freezer you see in the garage there. Someone did it. No one admitted to being Someone.

What I think is hysterical, only because I was behind the camera and not helping, is the Marine asks, "WHO SPRAY PAINTED THE SHELVES". Then he is surprised No One speaks up. So now they all get the talk. I don't remember the details of the talk. But the talk usually follows the same format. 1. What the offense is; 2. what he is going to do to anyone caught committing said offense; 3. and finally what will happen to EVERYONE if it happens again, usually involving horrible and undesirable body part removal.

Recruit 2 working, you can see it's not exactly a pleasant climate out. Hurricane season is inconveniently during warm and humid weather.

Recruit 3 was helping too. I was still taking pictures. It was important for posterity.

At one point Recruit 6 is distracted. I wasn't sure what was going on, so I watched him. I thought maybe a ball or something had rolled under the bush.

He was still busy crawling around and had called Recruit 5 over. I stopped him for a picture.

Now I realize that they are actually looking AT something instead of FOR something.

Yay for mom and her headlamps. They came in really handing when checking out a bush in the dark when they were supposed to be helping prepare the yard and the house.

And what were they checking out? A disgusting Frog. They made me squat down there and take a picture of it!

Then we had to do a posed photo of them together. With their headlamps. I love hurricane preparedness. I love headlamps! I've got to go to the store...

Monday, March 7, 2011

This is a BAD DOG

I couldn't find Luke. I kept calling him, then I looked out the back door. He was a very very naughty puppy.

But he looks so handsome and regal! He usually jumps up and runs to me when he sees me.
I'm thinking he was thinking if he just stayed really still I wouldn't see him.

He only moved enough to pull his head back a little but NEVER took his eyes off me. He really should have been barbecued for this.

To make matters worse, I could recognize the toilet paper, but I have no idea what else was torn up or where the back to that office chair came from.
Sigh... Boys and puppies. There's a lot of clean up involved...

Sunday, March 6, 2011


I was looking for a picture to write about and none jumped at me today. So I decided to write about church with The Marine. He usually sits on the end with maybe ONE child between us. This leaves me with the others all to my left.

I end up missing half the talks because I am busy shoving boys off of me, snapping my fingers a the older ones, and saying SHHHHH a lot.

I have also been getting tapped a lot lately. Tap Tap Tap. In fact, this is not the first post I have written about being tapped. I really can't stand to be tapped. I even gave them options tonight at dinner instead of tapping me.

Today I was tapped by three of them almost simultaneously. Again the Marine looks at me as if I am the most intolerant woman on the planet when I exclaim in a stage whisper "STOP TAPPING ME".

In addition to being tapped out... LOL, sorry a little wrestling humor which I only know about because Recruit 6 was sitting on Recruit 5's back one day yelling "TAP OUT TAP OUT".

As I was saying. In addition to being tapped out, I was hot. Not like "ooh baby" hot, but like "oh my gosh I am going to pass out Peri-menopausal" hot. I know the Bishopric saw me fanning myself like crazy with my print out for my Sunday school lesson. I think they thought it was funny. I didn't see them smile, but the Marine was laughing at me and they are all in cahoots. I could feel it.

So what was the Marine's solution? He made me move to the end seat and put himself between me and the children.

I was moved. Not emotionally moved, but physically moved. By the Marine.

He says he was protecting me. I think he was isolating me and protecting them.

It was actually nice. The Marine had to lean over several times. AND Recruit 2 was drawing on Recruit 3's dress because she wouldn't circle the words he found looking over her shoulder at her word search. (It was a New Testament word search in case people are wondering why she was doing a word search in church).

The Marine gave Recruit 2 the eyebrow. Recruit 2 gave the Marine the "grin". I sat on the end and fanned myself trying to catch the Bishop's eye to tell him I was hot and going to pass out. The Bishop didn't see me.

The Marine did. nuts.

The Marine: "Who are you talking to???"

Kelli: "no one"

The Marine: "Yes you are."

Kelli: "nuh uh. I was singing the hymn..."

The Marine: "No you weren't you were mouthing to the Bishop you were going to pass out"

Kelli: "Well so, it doesn't matter he didn't see me anyway, and besides, I am going to pass out"

The Marine: some sort of disgusted grimace at my irreverance. Probably the lying too, but I'm not sure. I didn't bring it up again.

I did stop trying to send the Bishop a message though. Next time I'm just going to go punch the button for the controller and make it cold.

So then after sacrament I taught the 12-13 years olds for a friend of mine today. They weren't as bad as I expected. Recruit 4 is in there. He was just as bad as I expected. However he answered some of the questions and accurately.... He is an enigma.

Recruit 3 and I left before the third hour started. She got hit on the side of her face with the lacrosse ball yesterday and her jaw/ear area hasn't stopped hurting.

We got x-rays. She is just bruised/sore. But the x-ray tech, one we have never seen before amazingly enough had heard of Recruit 3, or rather the avulsion fracture she had to her occipital (occiput) bone on the back of her head in December from a fall during cheer practice doing the death dive stunt. She is famous. or rather her skull. The crack head.

I came home and took a fabulous nap. I need it. Nothing beats a Sunday nap....

Now I am ready for bed. 0500 comes early in this house and the week starts again!!!

P.S. I think the Marine was protecting me today. I've decided that's what I am going with.


What follows on these posts is true to the best of my knowledge, except what isn't. I only change names to protect the innocent and not so innocent.