I should be embarrassed but...

But by the time you have your sixth child and he is a boy, it takes a lot to phase you. Recruit 6's birth story is a good one, and maybe when I have time I'll put it on here. For now just know there was a moment when he was about 10 days old I stayed up all night searching the Internet because I thought he might be autistic.

What made me think this? He spent 9 days in the NICU on oxygen. My main defense is I was post-partum and I had never had a new born with health issues. He is SO not Autistic...

My main point is, when this child was born, I knew he was special and I worried I wouldn't be a good mom to him. I have no idea yet either, time will tell, but I kiss him a lot...

I also had an inkling early on he was going to give me fits. Ex: when he was still new and straight from Heaven I was working on my column and holding him in my lap. I was concerned he had not smiled at me yet.

Just as I was either talking to someone about my concern or researching it ( the Internet can sometimes be too easy a resource) I glanced down at my sweet baby just in time to see the fading of a smile! Eyes wide open starring at me and a baby grin just fading. I was stunned!

As soon as he made eye contact with me the tail end of his smile abruptly left his tiny face.

He continues to stun me. Like a stun gun sometimes. I am stunned into immobility. I just stand there sometimes and watch, horrified.

I actually asked him if he was messing with me! He just starred at me solemn faced. No repeat performance, (that I saw), for days. And so Recruit 6 began his reign of love and terror over me.

This was my last baby that would be my very own. The last one I could choose the type of diaper, or I alone could decide if he was held too much (he NEVER was...) I had ultimate and total responsibility and authority over him and he was MY last baby. (Yes, The Marine was involved and when I say I , I mean US, but I'm going to use MY, MINE, and I).

I had a moment when the full realization hit me. Just as with Recruit 1, with every 'first' for her I was poignantly aware those were also my 'first' moments as a mother. So with Recruit 6, they are my 'last' moments as a mother...

And then he began to grow...

And some last moments aren't/won't be so hard to let go of...

I can't keep him dressed correctly. He rarely wears underwear, (I've spared you that photo moment) and it is against his nature to stay clean or scab free.

Even at the beach with the whole Atlantic Ocean he is still gross. How could I not have taken that picture? To take time to wipe his face would have ruined this moment. They did this on their own. I'll take the dried snot and chocolate.

His energy and spunk are contagious!

Proof! I do bathe him. Actually he loves to bathe and has recently discovered "big boy showers". He just loves getting disgusting, filthy, and gross even more.

He is unique and you NEVER know what he is thinking or what he'll do next. So let me tell you what he did to me yesterday....

I went to the gym yesterday after having not worked out for the last two weeks. I did a spin class and almost died.

Seriously.

I was wheezing after the class and felt puke-y (weather here is bad for asthma lately) and I had arrived at the gym late, so I didn't really look at Recruit 6 on the way in. I saw a bruise above his left eye brow but figured he was functioning normally so I would investigate it later.

I really struggled through the class. I was as red faced as you can get and light headed after wards.

Lack of oxygen does that.

I grabbed the boys out of the child care and stopped by the gym's manager's office, a friend of mine to let her know I was alive... barely. One of the other instructors was in there at the time.

I don't think she has kids. If she does she isn't old and worn down and miserably out of shape like I am.

So my friend, T-Rock, is chatting with the boys and Recruit 6 was hopping around. She asked him about his head. The 'bruise'.

He didn't say anything. I was starting to recover from almost dying by now but starting to go into the after work out coma you get when you haven't been regularly working out. She asked me if it was a bruise or dirt. I said I didn't know.

She rubbed it.

I didn't really care, I was breathing again and that seemed more important at that moment.

However instinctively I started to lick my finger (gross I know) and wipe his head but I decided to look first because by now the part of my brain oxygen had gotten to was curious.

I got a good close look and discovered a dried booger right above his left eye brow!

I recoiled in horror and before I could figure out how to cover up the booger I spouted out loud "IT'S A BOOGER"!

To an outsider (meaning someone not inside my body at the time) who wasn't aware of my exhausted, oxygen deprived state it probably appeared that I casually claimed it was a booger and wasn't grossed out. Inside my head was more energy than my body could portray.

I was actually mortified. And yet here I sit writing the world about it...

Recruit 6 proceeds to try and pull it off once he realizes he has a booger there and it was actually like glued to his skin. I could see the skin pulling up as he ripped it off and wiped it on the wall where the keys hang.

Everyone is yelling EEEWWW! Don't do that! etc. Except me. I just stand there calmly watching it all making no move to recover the booger.

Remember the other instructor. Cute, young, and yelling "get a napkin!"

I just said, "it's gone now..." I was not able to bend over with my head below my heart, to look for the dried booger. I hadn't recovered that much yet. To have a booger incident and pass out all in the same 30 seconds would have been too much, so I left.

Looking back I wish I had made more of an effort to reclaim the booger.

And typing booger over and over has me totally laughing right now. I live in a house full of boys. It has damaged me.

Of all the things in this world I would like to be known as, "the mother of the booger wiper kid" is not one of them.

My sincerest apologies to my friend, the cute young instructor, and the gym. I hope your cleaning crew paid special attention to the floor around the key board last night because the booger wiper's mom was WAY off her game....

But seriously.... That is a 'last' mom moment I willingly would do over again just to have the privilege of being this little booger's mom! Just next time I'd grab a napkin....