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Sunday, March 6, 2011

HODGE PODGE

I was looking for a picture to write about and none jumped at me today. So I decided to write about church with The Marine. He usually sits on the end with maybe ONE child between us. This leaves me with the others all to my left.

I end up missing half the talks because I am busy shoving boys off of me, snapping my fingers a the older ones, and saying SHHHHH a lot.

I have also been getting tapped a lot lately. Tap Tap Tap. In fact, this is not the first post I have written about being tapped. I really can't stand to be tapped. I even gave them options tonight at dinner instead of tapping me.

Today I was tapped by three of them almost simultaneously. Again the Marine looks at me as if I am the most intolerant woman on the planet when I exclaim in a stage whisper "STOP TAPPING ME".

In addition to being tapped out... LOL, sorry a little wrestling humor which I only know about because Recruit 6 was sitting on Recruit 5's back one day yelling "TAP OUT TAP OUT".

As I was saying. In addition to being tapped out, I was hot. Not like "ooh baby" hot, but like "oh my gosh I am going to pass out Peri-menopausal" hot. I know the Bishopric saw me fanning myself like crazy with my print out for my Sunday school lesson. I think they thought it was funny. I didn't see them smile, but the Marine was laughing at me and they are all in cahoots. I could feel it.

So what was the Marine's solution? He made me move to the end seat and put himself between me and the children.

I was moved. Not emotionally moved, but physically moved. By the Marine.

He says he was protecting me. I think he was isolating me and protecting them.

It was actually nice. The Marine had to lean over several times. AND Recruit 2 was drawing on Recruit 3's dress because she wouldn't circle the words he found looking over her shoulder at her word search. (It was a New Testament word search in case people are wondering why she was doing a word search in church).

The Marine gave Recruit 2 the eyebrow. Recruit 2 gave the Marine the "grin". I sat on the end and fanned myself trying to catch the Bishop's eye to tell him I was hot and going to pass out. The Bishop didn't see me.

The Marine did. nuts.

The Marine: "Who are you talking to???"

Kelli: "no one"

The Marine: "Yes you are."

Kelli: "nuh uh. I was singing the hymn..."

The Marine: "No you weren't you were mouthing to the Bishop you were going to pass out"

Kelli: "Well so, it doesn't matter he didn't see me anyway, and besides, I am going to pass out"

The Marine: some sort of disgusted grimace at my irreverance. Probably the lying too, but I'm not sure. I didn't bring it up again.

I did stop trying to send the Bishop a message though. Next time I'm just going to go punch the button for the controller and make it cold.

So then after sacrament I taught the 12-13 years olds for a friend of mine today. They weren't as bad as I expected. Recruit 4 is in there. He was just as bad as I expected. However he answered some of the questions and accurately.... He is an enigma.

Recruit 3 and I left before the third hour started. She got hit on the side of her face with the lacrosse ball yesterday and her jaw/ear area hasn't stopped hurting.

We got x-rays. She is just bruised/sore. But the x-ray tech, one we have never seen before amazingly enough had heard of Recruit 3, or rather the avulsion fracture she had to her occipital (occiput) bone on the back of her head in December from a fall during cheer practice doing the death dive stunt. She is famous. or rather her skull. The crack head.

I came home and took a fabulous nap. I need it. Nothing beats a Sunday nap....

Now I am ready for bed. 0500 comes early in this house and the week starts again!!!

P.S. I think the Marine was protecting me today. I've decided that's what I am going with.



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Disclaimer

What follows on these posts is true to the best of my knowledge, except what isn't. I only change names to protect the innocent and not so innocent.