MY MARINE AND WHAT MAKES HIM TICKed off.

Oh I have missed my blog. I just have not been able to find the time, or when I have the time I am beyond exhausted. So many big and small moments I've missed. Many small things I've posted on Facebook, mostly the funny things the kids say. The big moments have been Recruit One's wedding in December of 2009, the birth and death of my first Grandchild in August of 2010, and the wonderful news of a second, healthy baby boy due to arrive in July of 2011. All of which I am writing, but I just am not ready for it to be on a public blog. Maybe when I've finished and Recruit One is good with it I will share that story. It's beautiful and sad, but filled with love and a true testimony that God lives.

As a writer, I find myself writing in my head and in my heart all the time, but never quite capturing those moments on paper (or computer). I feel like I am not being true to a talent I've been given or to the need to capture moments for my children, and now grandchildren.

So, today, I try to begin again to do better.

Now this story isn't as tender or as touching as the one about my granddaughter, it's about him. That MAN/Marine I married. sigh.

My relationship with my husband, who I truly adore, has been described as volatile before. Not by me, but by a friend of ours. I like to call it feisty, fun, entertaining, energetic. He's always taken very good care of me and has been my knight in shining armour. We banter and quip, and on occasion have a humdinger of a disagreement, but always, always we have been tied to one another that is safe and loving and kind.

But I didn't like him very much last night.

Well really up until an hour ago I was highly irked (I think it's my hormones. Isn't it always?) In fact up until an hour ago I was thinking up all kinds of revenge-ish things to do.

Some of which were: never do his laundry again, always have both dogs and three of the kids in bed with me asleep when he came to bed so he would have to move everyone, drive off in his truck at random and odd moments, cook lots of deserts with nuts in them. He hates nuts. Eat peanut butter right before he wants to be romantic and NOT brush my teeth. He hates peanut butter.

Okay, so obviously I'm not talking sabotage. Just How to Annoy My Marine in six easy steps.

The Marine is on his way somewhere and will be back in a day or two. Let me just say first before I go any further how much I LOVE MY MARINE. I really do. Please refer back to this sentence in a little while.

We had a miscommunication last night. One that resulted in my waking from a dead sleep, him commenting on my snoring and how I just lay around and sleep all the time, and then me grabbing a pillow and storming out to climb onto the top bunk in Recruit 3's room where I promptly fell asleep. For one hour.

I then had to go to the bathroom. So without my glasses, in the dark and with a very shifty bed, I had to figure out how to climb back down, avoid all the 'stuff' on the floor to include a lacrosse stick I had injured myself on when I first arrived in her room.

I had to then again climb back up the shifty bed, toss and turn, then fall asleep, for another hour. However there was NO WAY I was going back where HE was.

He also cleaned our bathroom. And started laundry, which is what started his irritation. He has always helped with housework, but not always the bathroom and quite frankly I've been less than diligent. I'm just really really tired all the time and work and the kids and church come before the bathroom. Plus I hate cleaning it. So there, I've said it.

My point is, he might, perhaps, maybe had reason to be irritated, but still didn't need to be mean to me in the middle of the night, with me being startled awake. (I've since learned he had fallen asleep sitting up with the computer on his lap and my snoring startled HIM awake first). whatever.

So this morning I woke up, not well rested, avoided HIM, got the kids ready and took off for Lacrosse practice, Baseball sign ups, cleat shopping etc. The Marine stopped by the Lacrosse field to say goodbye since he was heading out of town and I had scurried everyone out of the house before he got up. on purpose. I KNOW<>.. I'm awful. I will tell my Bishop tomorrow....

He came to my window and kissed me goodbye.

I kissed him back.

There were people present.

He walked around to the passenger window and leaned in and said he knew it killed me to kiss him goodbye.

I said no. I didn't mind kissing him because if he died I would feel really bad if I hadn't kissed him.

He laughed.

I didn't.

He grinned.

I glared.

He drove off. I went cleat shopping.

Arriving several hours later we arrived home and I took my lunch to my room to sit down and watch a recorded show away from the kids. We'd spent the day together and I was needing a few minutes alone.

I couldn't locate the remote to my TV. I figured HE had hidden it as a parting shot.

Seriously, would he have stooped that low? YES, I think he would.

So I found the remote from the den TV and took it into the bedroom, pointed at the TV and clicked. The TV came on alright, but only to have a screen filled with the snow of death.

I knew immediately HE had done something to my cable in the bedroom as an extra parting shot. The poison on the tip of the spear so to speak. If losing the remote wasn't enough, it wouldn't matter when I found it. MARINES!! You really have to know who you are dealing with.

I checked the connections. My COMM Marine always says "did you check all the connections first?" whenever I call for help. (please say this in a mimicky whiney voice. I did) So I checked all the connections. No luck.

Cable worked everywhere else. Proof he was playing dirty. Really dirty.

I grabbed the phone and started to dial. I put it down. I didn't want to call him. He would know he'd gotten me. I could figure this out.

No I couldn't.

I picked up the phone.

I put it down.

I sighed heavily.

I grabbed it and dialed.

One ring, two rings, three rings. Oh this was going to annoy me if he didn't answer.

Marine: "Hello!" (Mr. Happy)

Kelli: "What. Did. You. Do. To. The. Cable. In. Our. Room.?" (Mrs. I will never be friendly to you again)

Marine: "What? Nothing." (Mr. Innocent)

Kelli: "Sure you didn't". and I hung up.

About an hour later the phone rings. Meanwhile, I've gone to HULU.com. so I'm a little calmer. Had my TV fix.

Kelli: after looking at the caller ID, "HELLO!" (said very firmly and with clear disgruntlement)

Marine: "Hey is Wade there? Does he have a minute?"

small talk small talk blah blah of which I was commenting little.

then

Marine: "Well, I've been listening to scripture on tape and I'm listening to Alma (in the Book of Mormon) and it's where all the battles are and it's great!"

Kelli: "harrumph" or some other disgusted sound.

Marine continues: "and I realized, I needed to call you and I didn't want to battle with you. You are my eternal companion and I love you very much."

Kelli: now softening a little because 1. The Marine was being sweet, and 2. I don't want to be the one to be in trouble with Heavenly Father since now the Marine was being humble. darn it.

Marine Continues: "and to fix the cable you just need to switch the two cables around"

I KNEW IT! IT WAS HIM! the rat.

In fact, when I was checking those two were loose.... AND I TIGHTENED THEM BACK... Little did I know they were loose because he had switched them. Oh and the remote was back there too. dirty dirty rat.

Marine Continues:"and I am very sorry.... and so on... more mushy stuff" that I won't repeat because then he will be annoyed because after all he is The Marine...

Kelli: "well. okay. but you really hurt my feelings! And I don't lay around and sleep all day! And yeah, you hurt me deeply"

Marine: "Yes, and I've apologized, and I do love you."

I can't remember anymore than that because at that point the recruits kept breaking in and I had to yell at them a couple of times. They were ruining the moment.

He explained he was asleep when my loud snoring startled him awake and he was just snapping and I thought he was awake already because he was sitting up with the computer on his lap still, which many a time I've removed from his lap, and he was just being mean for no apparent reason.

I love the Marine. He ticks me off but he always makes it better. I tick him off and usually have to clean something to make it up to him. I might be frustrating to live with sometimes - possibly. Don't take that as any sort of admittance to anything.

Recently, I think, but I can't be sure, it might have been more than usual.

I sat on his side of the bed yesterday eating food. That ticks him off.

I hadn't cleaned the bathroom, (in a few... days?) and there was tons of laundry. We had to use monster hooded towels...

We've eaten a lot of pizza and McDonald's lately.

And other little things, for instance; I have a hard time keeping up with my check card. I'm always looking for it and often have had to go out to the Marine's unit and get his check card from him.

Well recently two of our vehicles were broken into in our driveway and some things were stolen to included my whole purse (story for another time) and my check card was in there. So I had his. We got into the van to go get my military ID (which was stolen too) and as The Marine was driving and talking he looked down and said, well now that your new check card has arrived can I take mine back out of this bowl down here?"

I died. I had meant to move it before he got home so I wouldn't get lectured but I forgot. It was in a bowl sitting under the center console thingy and the bowl was there from something we'd taken to church (it was clean).

The who thing struck me as funny and I started laughing. Like giddy stupid laughing that often leads to an asthma attack. He looked at me. He wanted to be irritated but I must have been ridiculous looking and a slight grin started to creep up. He shook his head and said, "you are a mess. An unorganized mess." (if any of my bosses read this he only means personally, not professionally.)

He took his card back, got me a new ID card, and then took me to the exchange and bought me a new wallet. He really is sweet.

Our marriage may have been described as volatile, but I wouldn't have it any other way. He is good for me and I know I am good for him. 22 years, six kids, and a whole lot of Marine Corps and I couldn't ask for a better husband and best friend. And look, he can kiss me in the snow AND hang on to his corn dog bite! He is the most wonderful man in the world!